Gluttony, Christmas, and Great Expectations

I weigh 137 pounds. At least I did for the last 20 years. I was the skinny kid who grew up to be the skinny adult. I was gifted with the ability to eat as much as I wanted and never put on weight. 

"Just wait until your 30's," older men warned. "Then it will all change."

They were right. At about 35 my stomach grew smaller. Suddenly I could only eat half as much as before. But I stayed at 137 pounds.

Last Christmas I changed again. I ate the normal Christmas feasts - two big helpings, wait a couple of hours for the food to settle, then go back for pie. Christmas, Boxing Day, and New Years. For the first time I didn't feel good after it. And, suddenly, I weighed 147 pounds. For the first time I would have to watch how much I ate.

My wife went on a weight loss program 10 years ago. I remember her difficulty. "I'm hungry," she would lament when she finished dinner. Or lunch. Or right before she went to bed. She lost 30 pounds, but she did it by always being unfull. I didn't have to lose 30 pounds (only 5). But I did have to face the new reality of not eating as much as I could every meal.

Gluttony, when I was younger, was always associated with holiday meals. I would eat my fill - and then some. Then I would complain about being too full, and my mom would lecture me. "Gluttony is a sin," she would say.

Gluttony = Eating until you're stuffed.
Christmas dinners. All you can eat buffets. Chicken wing eating contests.

Now in my middle age I think I have to re-define it. Gluttony isn't eating more than is comfortable, but eating until I am comfortable. Because if I eat until I say "I'm full," and then stop, that's too much. I'll be back at 147 pounds in a week.  I have to stop eating when I say "I could eat a little bit more."

That's right. I need to stop eating when I'm still a little bit hungry. Or it's too much.

It's a sobering shift for me. "Enough" now means "still a little bit unsatisfied."

It's difficult for someone with a poor sense of discipline and boundaries. And I think there's a lesson there that goes far past what's on the table.

Life Today
Our lives today are characterized by wanting to be full. Full of food. Pleasure. Accomplishments. Shopping. The perfect vacation. There's a gnawing sense that we're always not quite full, not really satisfied. And the myth says that if you have a little bit more, then you will be happy. The key to being happy is being filled. In contrast though, I wonder if the key to being happy is being content with being a little bit empty.

This is the world that says you can have it all. Get an education, a good job, nice toys, nicer toys, go on a vacation, and the perfect family. Have it all, and be happy. Except there are two problems. You can't actually have it all; there never is enough and it's never perfect. And second, we're still not happy. We're stressed, depressed, and perplexed. But if the purpose of life is to be full, we keep indulging in more, or exchange what isn't making us happy for something newer and better .. but doesn't deliver either.  And when you all you sought but are still empty, what then?

The love affair with Facebook and Instagram compounds it. What do you do before eating a nice meal? Take a picture and post it. Vacations. New car. Parties with friends. "Look at me and all the fun I'm having!" The photo of the moment becomes the illusion of the norm. All your friends are living in happiness, what's wrong with you? Go do something equally fun, and post it. Maybe if you get enough likes then you will be happy too. The virtual Jones are worse than the real ones.

We're left feeling a little bit empty, and feeling that we would be better if we had just a little bit more.

Now, back to my eating problem.
Its absurd to think that eating more can be a solution. Eating more means getting bigger. Pounds of fat. Unhealthy. It's obvious.

It's obvious, but its what most people do: eat more than they should. Their solution to feeling a little empty is eat more. But it doesn't help - it makes things worse.

The solution has to be something else: a new mindset. Embracing being hungry once in a while as a solution, not the problem.  It's ok to be a little bit empty. In fact, its good for me.

What does this mean?
Maybe this means something.
Maybe the solution to our insatiable desire to be filled is to embrace our sense of lack, not try to fill it.

Let's face it: we will never have enough. 

So stop pretending that more is the answer. Embrace less. Call it emptiness, call it deprivation, call it suffering if you want. But accept less. Embrace it. Let less be your joy.

Grace is Enough/Bragging about Weakness

One of my biggest "Aha!" moments happened in grade 8.  
It was an epiphany, the realization of something I didn't understand before, something that forever changed the way I saw myself.

Boys in junior high like to test their strength against each other.  Everyone wants to prove how strong they are, and that they're stronger than the next boy.
They test this in the most primitive, rudimentary, and manly way possible:
They arm wrestle.


It's a simple test of strength:

• Whoever wins is stronger.  
• Whoever loses is humiliated.

Winning is followed by bragging and bravado.
Losing is followed by looking for someone else to wrestle, in hopes of beating them and saving face.

I played the game like everyone else.  I clearly wasn't the strongest kid in grade 8 - that title belonged to a kid named Adam.  I wasn't even close. But I arm wrestled along with everybody else, trying to establish myself among the alpha males.

And then it dawned on me.
It wasn't quite an "Aha!" moment.  It was more like an "Ohhh..." moment.

Whenever someone lost a match, and they wanted to wrestle someone else to regain face, they challenged me.

• I was the boy everyone else knew they could beat.
• I was the class weakling.

"Ohhh... I don't think this is a good thing."

I had athletic ability.  I had academics.  I had some other things going for me.
But from then on I knew it:  I was the weak kid.  That was the worst thing imaginable for a grade 8 boy.

I thought of ordering this kit that they advertised in comic books.



Or, I was going to have to accept myself for what I was.


The Apostle Paul was awesome.  He was driven, brave, tough, a leader, and confident.  He was the 'A' in "Alpha Male."
But he also had weakness.

He hated it.  It drove him crazy.  He prayed again and again, "God, take this away! Fix this problem! I can't stand it any more!"

And God said, "No."
"My grace is all that you need.  My power works best in your weakness."

That phrase changed everything about Paul, how he saw himself, and how he saw God.
And he was thankful for it.

"Now I am glad to boast about my weakness..."
What?  So different.  No one boasts about their weaknesses.
Unless they learned to look at everything differently.

Warning to the rich

Warning:  If you are rich, you might not inherit eternal life.

I feel like I have to say this, because Jesus says it quite clearly.

The rich young ruler
A wealthy young man came running to Jesus.  "What must I do to inherit eternal life?" he asked.

"You know the law," Jesus replied.  "Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal or lie, and honour your parents." 

"Easy!" the man replied.  "I have done all these things since I was young."

"One more thing," Jesus added.  

His first list is familiar to all of us:  This is a list from the 10 commandments.  Do these, and live.

But in particular, this was the second half of the 10 commandments.  
There are two halves:  The last 6 deal with how people relate to each other.  These the man had done.
But Jesus didn't mention the first 4, the ones that deal with his relationship with God.  Were these not important?  Worship only God?  Do not keep idols? Keep the Sabbath? 

"One more thing," Jesus added.
"Sell everything you have and give it to the poor."

The hammer hit.  Here's what Jesus was saying:
"Your money is your god.  You worship your money.  You have an idol in your hands."  Jesus looked at him with love.  "Get rid of it."

If you are wealthy, it's harder for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than you go enter the kingdom of God.

The disciples understood this.  "How can anyone be saved?"
We minimize it.  "It can't be that hard.  Jesus wasn't serious."
Be careful.

Now, it's not impossible. Jesus' next words were, "With God all things are possible."
And Zacchaeus, the next story in Luke, "was very rich", and salvation came to his house.

But it wasn't with some spiritual-sounding words; Zacchaeus gave half his possessions away, and returned money to anyone he cheated with a 400% voluntary disclosure penalty.  It was clear: Money was no longer his object of worship.

Here are some other verses:

• The very wealth you were counting on will eat away your flesh like fire. This corroded treasure you have hoarded will testify against you on the day of judgment. James 5.3
• They will fade away like a little flower in the field.  The hot sun rises and the grass withers; the little flower droops and falls, and its beauty fades away. In the same way, the rich will fade away with all of their achievements.  James 1.10-11
• Teach those who are rich in this world not to be proud and not to trust in their money, which is so unreliable. Their trust should be in God, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment.  Tell them to use their money to do good. They should be rich in good works and generous to those in need, always being ready to share with others.  By doing this they will be storing up their treasure as a good foundation for the future so that they may experience true life.  1 Timothy 6.17-19

So what do you do?
It's slippery and hard to know if money has your heart.  The Bible never condemns having riches, it just warns against it being your idol of worship.

The test seems to be, "Give it away." 
How much?  Lots.  

• Start with a tithe.  Give 10% to your church.  That's a beginning.
• Then give away more to people you can help.  We think in terms of percent of income.  Want a suggestion?  Give away another 10%.  If you hit 15%, then 1/4 of your money will be given away.
• Then  consider your net assets: house, car, savings account.  Give away 10% of the value of this, on top of your income. 

"What?  Are you serious?  I can't afford that!" you say.
That's the point.  If you have to hold on to it, it's your idol.  
Give it away, and you know it's no longer your god.  It has been sacrificed for God.

It should cost you.  It should be difficult.  It should make you give up something.  That's the point of the test.

Hey - I could have said, "Sell everything you have and give it to the poor" instead.  If I was Jesus talking to you, I might.

Alberta Politics, the Sky is Falling, and the Kingdom of God

The only government more stable than an Alberta Conservative government is a Cuban one.  
One party has been in power for even longer than 43 years.  55 years, one government, and only the second leader (who is the brother of the first one).

Cuba is a communist society where the government fingers - and sometimes eyes - are everywhere.  Yet talk to pastors and Christians to hear what they think of politics.  Mostly they ignore it.  Never mention it.  It's everywhere, and they're very aware, but it's never the focus.

There's an unstated relationship between the government and the church:

• Government:  "If you don't interfere with the government then you can do whatever you want with God."
• Church:  "If you let us do the work of Jesus then we won't interfere with the government."

Christians focus their energy and work on doing the work of Jesus.
And the government does the work of the government.

Alberta Politics
It is interesting to see the reaction in Alberta - and surrounding provinces - after the NDP majority government win.  There has been an overwhelming "the sky is falling" sentiment, followed by the reactive "stop complaining and fear-mongering, we still live in an incredible place."  Many Christians, I suspect, are wary and anxious about days ahead.  Acorns are everywhere.

We're preoccupied with the wrong things
We need to be concerned about the kingdom of God, not the rulers of this world.  Governments have come, and governments have gone - even if they last for 43 years.  But that is not the primary work of God.  Nor should it be of followers of Jesus.

The more time we spend worrying about the kingdoms of this world the less effect we have for the Kingdom of God.  How many people learned something about Jesus last week? How many people experienced God's goodness?  How many people in darkness found hope?  Were lonely people loved?  Hungry fed?  People in prison given light?  None of these were affected by an election.

Jesus was surrounded by government.  Herods and Caesars were all about legacy and power and strength.  There were government-sponsored edifices, soldiers marching in formation, taxes being imposed.  Government was everywhere.

Yet how much did Jesus even mention them?  Never.  Only once does he speak of Herod.  People warn Jesus, "Be careful! Herod is after you!"  The Master simply replies, "So?  Do you expect me to stop God's work just because of Herod?"  That was it.  His focus was wholly on the work of God.

As ours should be.  There is a greater Kingdom in the world than any that can be elected or seated in a royal chamber.  This Kingdom brings light, love, life, and salvation.  No electoral candidate would dare promise these things.  The world will continue on.  It was never our enemy, or our ally.  We ought to pray for those in authority.

God is forever.

Seeing God in Making Friends in Cuba

One of the main reasons we went to Cuba was so that our kids could make friends and have a good experience.  We all wanted to make friends and deepen friendships, sometimes with people we knew and sometimes with people we were going to meet.

I had a girl in mind for Terra to get to know.  She is a year older than Terra.  Her older sister is married and we really enjoyed her and her husband.  Before we came we found out that it was going to be her Quince (15^th) birthday the week that we were in Cuba.  The girl is quiet and reads a lot and very nice, kind of like Terra.  We bought a present for her, and we were able to go to her house and see her 15^th Birthday pictures.  She doesn't speak much English, but it was nice to make that connection with somebody here. 

There is another girl who is 12 years old and I recognized from before as being at the church regularly.  I was praying for somebody for Trinity to get to know, even though Trinity tends to get to know people easily.  Our church had help them to buy a house to use as a church building, so one of our main goals was to go and see the house and to take pictures or it so we can share them with our church in Edmonton.  There was a family living in it of course, so we didn't just tour a future church building, we toured somebody's home. Guess which family lives in that house?  It’s the same girl I had noticed before and was praying about.  So we got a tour of her house and saw her chickens and rabbits and pig in the backyard too. 

That night we went to a camp to the service.  The church rented a bus to take anybody who wanted to go.  Who shows up?  The same girl and her parents came. She doesn't speak much English - maybe less than Terra and Trinity speak Spanish - but while the adults were doing church they ran around and played.   The girl talked incessantly, even though Terra and Trinity couldn’t understand anything.  Another friendship was made.

For Darcia and I there were a few people who we wanted to spend time with.  One of our translators, Yusnan, and his wife Elizabeth, were our friends.  We went to their house and visited with them.  They were an incredible blessing to us.   We’re much richer for knowing them. 

There were other encounters too, the kind that you can't ever plan or anticipate.  We had this crazy idea of getting into a school to see what it might be like.  One day while walking down the street I heard “Where are you from?”  I turned around and there was an 11 year old boy smiling.  I waved him over and we talked for a bit.  He ran back to his class, and I waved at his teacher.  Then we talked with his teacher and the kids in his class. Then I asked if we could bring our children in to see his classroom.  We went in and talked for a few minutes before the school principal came and told us we had to leave.   

Many other friends.  A man who asked for a Spanish cookbook next time we come, and said next time we’re invited to their house for dinner.  A family with two great boys.  A family that hosts a mission church in their house, the missionary of that church and his family, the host of the Casa Particular where we stayed.  The pastor and his family are so warm, so generous, so hospitable, so caring, so friendly.  They really are a dream to us.  Such wonderful people, the kind of that you can never plan for or expect meeting.

God has been good to us, and God answered my prayer, that we would be able to come and make friends for the four of us, to enjoy this place in this family, and deepen the love we have for these people and this place.

The slow pace of growing

I'm doing my Bible reading in Spanish.  Having to translate word by word makes me slow down and think about it a lot more.

Today I read Philippians 3.7-14.

First I read "I have lost everything to the end of knowing Christ, experiencing the power that is manifested in his resurrection, participate in his suffering and to get to be similar to him in his death."  

After that I journalled a bit - somewhat depressingly.  

"Maybe the Bible was written for older men who see life differently, because I don't get this yet.  I want to live in the power of the resurrection - that part is good.  But I'm really not interested in the suffering and death part, and the joy of knowing Christ seems weak at times."  Sometimes I'm afraid that I will never get it.

Then I translated the next few verses.

"Not that I have acquired all this yet, or that I am perfect.  However I continue forward hoping to obtain this, that for which Christ has obtained me."

Of course we're not there yet.  Like Paul, we can simply keep moving toward the goal, to one day win the prize.

So keep going, and good job.

On our way to Cuba, God in the airport

We're in the airport on our way to Cuba.
A few days ago I started praying that we would meet special people - people we don't necessarily know we will meet, but people and encounters that we will remember the most. Magical ones.

I'm a little afraid that we won't make real, deep friendships with anyone. So I started to pray that we would.

It was slow when we checked in our bags. The service lady asked where we were going in Cuba.  We answered slowly, not knowing if she wanted to hear the whole story, especially the religious part. But she kept asking. How did we make the connections? What were we going? Bit by bit the story came out.

Then we found out that her husband is/was a pastor. At a church my brother went to. "When I saw Hoover on your ticket I wondered if you were related to Jason." Then she asked God to bless us, and we were on our way.

Can God create divine moments of friendship?