Learning language/conduct

1st Timothy says "Be diligent in these issues. Surrender fully to these things so that others can see that you are progressing. Watch out for your conduct and teaching. Persevere in these things, because this is salvation for both you and those that hear you." 4.15-16

I'm not very good at diligence and perseverance. I like to read something, understand it in my head, and then run off and do something else. In some ways I'm like the person that looks at himself in the mirror, realizes he forgot to shave, and then goes to work anyway. I don't consistently and persistently work on my conduct and teaching, not in a way that everybody can see my growth.

I'm reading these verses in my Spanish Bible this morning. In my attempt to learn Spanish I'm having my time with God with my Spanish Bible, & I have to translate it as I go. Learning a language is terrible work. It takes so much effort, so much time, and diligence and persistence. The only way to learn a language is to do it consistently, every day, throughout the year, and into the next year. If you try to shortcut and not put in the effort, you will learn a few words and phrases but never master the language. 

I take my spiritual growth and development the same way. I can't say that I work at it persistently and consistently, in a way that everybody can see how I am progressing. If I worked diligently at my conduct and my teaching, what a different person I would be.

Expenses for Cuba

Darcia and I were making our preparations to go to Cuba in 3 weeks. We were looking at hotel rooms and finding out how much it would cost to stay everywhere. When we originally made plans, we thought the hotel rooms would be cheaper and they are. But because they're not quite as cheap as we hoped, and because they often don't allow four people to stay in the same room, it's more expensive than we had budgeted.

So of course we were a little discouraged and stressed about how much the trip is going to cost.

The next morning I woke up I'm still thinking about it. And then I remembered when we bought the plane tickets. At Christmas WestJet had a sale of 20% off all flights. So we actually paid $150 less per ticket can we had planned. We were thankful and grateful to God that we were able to save that.

Now that we're looking at the other end, that hotels might cost more than we thought, we get stressed. However, when we accept God's grace at one end, then we need to continue to believe that God is looking after us, that were following his plan, and that we can still trust him, even if we hit a speed bump.

Serving and maturity

The biggest leap in my understanding of God, and in understanding what it means to follow Jesus, trust God, and be human, is that God serves, and this our heart, our life, is to serve others. Maturity is in serving others. Growing in godliness is by serving others. True humanity is in serving others. Forget yourself, deny yourself, and serve others. This is the heart of everything.

Yet this is where I struggle. With my family - Do I do everything to serve them? My church - Do I do everything to serve them? People I work with, mentor - Do I do everything to serve them?

In my head I know this is the way it must be. I seek to know God, spiritual maturity.  The way to this is by serving others.

I want great things to be done through my life. To do this I fear I try to get others to serve me. It's backwards. I perpetually fight this. Get my family to fit my schedule. Bring others into my plans. Fight in the tension between doing what I want, and begrudging others when I have to do things for them.

God & The Magic Flute

A friend phoned to give me tickets to see The Magic Flute tomorrow.  I've never seen the opera, but I have long been curious.  This would have been perfect!

Except I was busy.  Terra is in her first year of violin lessons, and they have their first concert recital tomorrow.  Imagine, 90 minutes of concert of classes of kids and I don't know screeching on rented instruments.  Magic Flute.  Screeching violins.  Such a difficult decision.

Of course we decided to honour Terra bt choosing her.  I bought my earplugs weeks ago, and I can't return them.

So I called another pastor friend and asked if he was interested.

"My wife loves the opera," he told me.  "And yesterday was her birthday."

Things like this often happen with God.

God speaking, Jan 30

Sometimes God you can hear speak and you're not really sure what he's saying. Darcia and Ihad an experience like that today. We went and listened to KP Yohannan at Breakforth for the day.

Ap nose. Much more deeply then we do. So I'm challenged and humbled by how deeply he knows God, and the humility and lateness that he has about himself.

I've been intrigued by the idea of how we are continually saved from ourselves. We are saved for eternity when we accept Christ faith and ask him into our lives. But as we go along in the Christian life God continually opens our and reveals things to ourselves, things that we must die to each day. In this respect we are continually saved from ourselves. We are self centered, self serving, and we all want what we want. Denying ourselves and following Christ means to become aware these things that we hold onto as dear to ourselves. We have to learn to become humble and, forgetting about ourselves, put others first. We must to learn to serve others above our selves. We learn to serve Jesus through serving others, when it doesn't meet own agenda, and goals, and ambitions. But we die to these things, and we are continually being saved from all that we want, from ourselves.

The North American ethos is very self centered. We all have the right to health and happiness and success. It's a culture where you deserve to get what you want, and the greatest ambition you can have is self serving and selfish.

It's easy to understand and turn away from things like lying and murder and sexual immorality and drunkenness. These are simple. They are easy to understand. They make a great breasts, and there not a problem, not for me.

But denying myself, that's something else entirely. I've spent my whole life with ambition, and its full of people and books and insights that says go and do what you want. And it's all wrong. This isn't really the way of Jesus, not for me. Maybe I'm doing a lot of the right things, but there's something me-ish still about how I do them all.

Too busy to listen, I need quiet to see

We live in a busy world and lives are filled with activities. It seems like there's always something else to do, or something we don't have to do that distracts us and keeps us busy.

We miss so much of what God wants to show us and say to us because of this. We always ask the question how do I know God's will? How do I see what God is doing? What is God saying to me? But then we run off and busy ourselves without ever taking this space and time to listen and hear and to watch and see.

I forget most of what God showed me this week. Often my eyes and ears aren't even tuned to hear and see, but even if I did hear, I forget, and it hit me like water on duck feathers, just sliding off without ever really impacting me.

How can we know God without ever taking time to listen? And how can God settle inside of us if we fill our lives with busyness?

I do a lot better when I have a project to work on. So here's my project to help me with this exercise: I want to try and journal online here, and each day write down something that God said, something God did, or some way that I encountered God.

As a little brother

One of my jobs as a pastor is to develop people who are interested and involved in ministry. Sometimes it goes great. But I'm not the most natural at mentoring and developing young leaders. So I find it hard sometimes. It is easy to look at people and measure them in terms of how they grow, how they mature, what they learn, and what they produce in ministry. It's an easy way to become frustrated.

I read Timothy and Titus in the Bible. Twice Paul says to consider older men as you would an older family member, and young men as younger brothers. God spoke to me about how I interact and see younger people in our church.

I thought of how I interact with my younger brother. It's really not based on what he does or our mistakes and successes. We have a bond and an appreciation for each other. That supersedes anything that he or I would do, really.

So how am I different if I see people in my church as members of my family? I believe in them, I want the best for them, I'm for them. That's what supersedes what they do, or even how they're doing.

In the first verses of Timothy Paul call Timothy busy dear son. Here is how God wants me to see others in church.