Serving for love, serving for pay

One of the most beautiful things I have seen was an adult caring for a handicap child at the park.  The little boy needed help with everything.  He was physically and intellectually challenged.  He wanted to go on the slide, the swings, walk the drawbridge, and do all the things the other kids were doing; with great patience and love the adult helped him up and down and through every one of the structures.  He was delighted.  It was a thing of beauty for me to see the incredible love the adult showed for the boy.  Her only focus was to give him a safe, fun-filled afternoon.
 
But of course she was loving and patient. She was paid to do it.  It wasn't her son; she was a paid caregiver.

Why do we give our best for others when we are paid to do it, not when love compels us to do it?

Do you disagree?  I think I have a case.

Take caring for a child.  I have seen horrendous acts at the playground.  Arguing, swearing, demeaning, bullying.  This isn't the children; this is parents toward their children.  Often we are not kind to our kids.  If we saw a paid caregiver treat our children the way we do in our worst moments we would fire them in an instant.  Our expectations are higher for those we pay than for ourselves.

Service is important.  What's the mantra of the retail world?  "The customer is always right."   Employees will do anything to make the customer happy (and make a sale).  Do we bring that same attitude home?  We say things like, "I would do anything for my children."  Just don't complain when you eat your peas, and wait until my show is over. Our attitude is entirely different at home.

Go to a restaurant.  Order anything you want.  If you have a special request, the server will do what he can to get it for you.  Take that same server at home preparing breakfast for his children.  "Eat it, it's good for you.  And put your plate away when you're finished."

Our mindset is different.  We have to serve at work.  It's our job, and it's not optional.  Our performance review depends on it.  At home though it's different.  We can be lazy or unprofessional without accountability. So we don't have an attitude of "I must do my very best every day at this job." 

Needs are more confused at home too.  We don't have a job description - or too wide a job description - so it's hard to know what to value, and how much, and when.

And face it:  15 years of the same thing and you lose your intensity.

But it's still true.

If you disagree, try it.  When you go home, for every minute think, "How can I best serve this person in front of me tonight?"  See if your heart changes, if you sense a tension in your mind, a sense that you can love better.

There are exceptions.  Here's another most-beautiful-thing-I-have-seen:  A second adult with a handicap child.  Only this adult was the mother. It was one of Darcia's relatives at a family reunion a few years ago.  I was able to observe them over a weekend.  The mother fed her daughter, cleaned her, helped her with every activity.  The daughter was 18 years old and weighed about 90 pounds.  She wasn't able to walk and had to be carried.  How do you carry a 90 pound girl when you're her 130 pound mother?  On your back, I suppose.  The mom would tease her daughters arms around her neck and piggyback her around.  It was unorthodox, but it worked.  There was no shame, no guilt, no regret from having her life hampered, just a lot of intimacy and love.

After the weekend I told the mother how stricken I was by her acts of love.  She was a little surprised.  She didn't think it was that special, that it was beyond the call of duty or normalcy.  "She's my daughter; I guess I just do what I have to to care for her."

Sounds much better than, "Oh, really?  Well, it's just my job."  Such love.
  
Post Note:  How do I do?
Honestly, I'm challenged.  This last month has been revealing.  When I get home and dinner isn't ready and I want to read stories on the internet I remember: How can I serve my family right now?  My job then is to make dinner.  If I took it seriously, as I take my job, then I would be more active in serving.  

It's not quite a mentality of "This is what my job is."  It's not the identity of who I am.  It's not "the reason why I'm here is to serve you" to my wife and children.

But that's what Jesus said.  Learn to be the servant of everyone.