Week at mom's house

I've been at my mom and dad's for a few days.  We come here once a year to visit and be away from everything in the city.  It's a mini-vacation each time.

It's especially nice because of how well my mom takes care of me.  I do next to nothing, but sit around and play.  Day 1: hike around with Terra and Trinity; go snowmobiling; watch hockey game, light fireworks.  Day 2: take Terra and Trinity skiing; eat big New Year's Day dinner. Day 3: go cross-country skiing with Darcia and my mom; go visit my aunt; eat more food. 

My mom is a beaver keep-busy type of person, always doing something.  Day 1: make lunch, make dinner, do other things.  Day 2: cook big New Year's Day dinner for me to eat, mend Terra's clothes I brought for her. Day 3: Go to neighbour to borrow skis for me to use, go skiing, make dinner again.  I don't even know what she does all day.  But she's always busy doing something, and never watches tv. 

My goal this week was to do more helping things when I came to visit.  But to be honest, I'm shamed by my mom.  There's no way I can ever do as many things for her as she does for me.  I wash the dishes as penance.  And make my bed.  But that's about it.

I'm really impressed by my mom.  I don't know anyone who has spent her life taking care of others as much as she has.  She raised 5 kids.  And we had it nice.  Home cooked meals, nice house, clean laundry, and help with homework.  She was awesome.  Few kids had as good a mom as we did.  She made half our Christmas presents herself.  We all received hand-sewn quilts for wedding presents.  She was always busy doing something.  And it was usually something for us.

She looks after my dad too.  He would be lost without her.  He worked the business (farming, logging, and various other things), but mom kept it all organized.  He could find his way through the kitchen to the cans of beans and sardines, but when they ran out he would starve.  Now, he comes home and there's pie for dessert. 

So when I think of a model of someone who serves others, I can think of my mom.  And be proud of her, while I enjoy another piece of pie.  She is the type of person I try to be.

A second thought.  This is what good parenthood is:  Taking care of someone else.  There's a progression of life that we're supposed to go through:

• Very selfish and dependant on others
• Selfish, somewhat able to care for self
• We-focused
• Giving of self to care for another
• Free
• Graceful enough to consiously receive help from others

Here are the corresponding age-stages:

• Baby
• Child-Adolencent
• Married
• Parent
• Empty nester
• Old

It's progression from self-focused to others-focused.  It's a natural progression that God seeks us to grow through.

Marriage and parenthood is the classroom to get your focus away from yourself and on to others.  You finally have a genuine concern and object of need.  So you learn to deny yourself to serve someone else again and again and again.  And to enjoy it.

It's not easy to learn.  How many people wake up after 3 years of marriage and say, "My needs aren't met."  How many new parents look at their baby and say, "This is much harder than I thought."  They're statements that reveal, "It's hard for me to find joy in serving others."  Not a sign of failure, but the process of learning.

After 45 years my mom is a pro.  She serves.

Really, I think she should spoil herself and do more to spoil herself. 
But right now she's busy fixing something with her sewing kit.  That's just who she is. 

Thanks, mom.